I can't see past this...

In season 4 of Downton Abbey, Lady Edith finds out she is expecting a child with her lover who has gone missing. For fear of being shunned and shamed, she is determined to have the pregnancy aborted. She becomes so stressed and hopeless since she believes no one would dare be connected with her once it's widely known that she has a child outside of marriage. 

When she is sitting in the lobby of the secret hospital, she tells her aunt, her one confidant, "I can't see past (over) this" in order to convince herself that she's doing what is necessary to save her reputation. However, instead of going through with it, she quickly changes her mind. She must hide the child, who she loves more than life itself, for a long time. In the end, she marries a wonderful man, who entrusts her with a higher ranking title than her parents or sister, and her family is reunited in love and acceptance.

Gosh, I love that show.

This homebody era we all find ourselves in has given me time to not only catch up on series such as the amazingly wonderful Downton Abbey, but also to reexamine why I do the things I do. One such thing is understanding why I allow myself to eat far and away more than I ought, resulting in my current sub-par state of health.

After lots of ruminating on the topic, it turns out that I suffer from a very specific mindset that possessed Lady Edith and many others in dire situations, although my situation is very different. My feelings become so strong, I am unable to see past the current moment without acting on my feelings (or fears). There are days when I want ice cream so terribly that I somehow convince myself that there is no tomorrow, no next week, no next year until I get my ice cream. A bit dramatic, I know. But just like Lady Edith, I don't want to be uncomfortable. I don't want to suffer through the hardship of denying myself the easy way out.

This trope is rife through cinema, by the way. In every other film you watch, you will witness a character make a hasty decision in order to change their fate, which they later regret. Panic-stricken and unable to predict the future (though, in some cases, their panic is caused by knowing the future), they begin a chain of events they can't undo. It's one of the most realistic plot devices you will ever see in the movies, minus the dramatic fluff.

Having faith is easier said than done, but it's the key antidote to panic. Faith and trust. Do I believe God will deny me ice cream for the rest of my life if I decide to say no to it once? And even if He did, would He do it to hurt me? Absolutely not. If I lost my job; if I am unjustly accused; if I receive a difficult diagnosis; if I was expecting a child I did not plan for, what would I do next? Would I panic and act without thinking? I would hope not because if there is one law of reality that we can depend on, it is that things always change.

But God doesn't.

Thank goodness my biggest dose of panic lately only involves sugary treats. I will have to learn to sit through the suffering and have faith that I'll survive it. I mean, I know I will, but it will be difficult. If I can master this one area, who knows what I can achieve!♢

This has been my second post in a series I am devoting to my food addiction. Subscribe to read what comes next!